A new challenge and refined focus

(Originally published 26 January 2013) 

How odd that getting really sick for the first time in years would have such a silver lining. The tarot reading I did (with my beloved MotherPeace deck) on why I got sick and how to heal was amazingly spot on—and heralded in that Outcome card a surprising new direction for me.

Judgement, card XX of the Major Arcana: the MotherPeace image shows a purple ankh on a lavender background, pouring a rainbow from Her center to cover the Earth in healing and beauty. Along with the Star card ("Opening to the Goddess"), it is my favorite MotherPeace image. According to Vicki Nobel (in MOTHERPEACE: A Way to the Goddess through Myth, Art, and Tarot), drawing the Judgement card in a reading indicates an important decision has already been made by your Higher Self.

And so it has been. Somehow, yesterday it came to me: the time has come to put aside my kung fu training and apply those lessons, that energy and commitment to myself and my growth in other areas of my life.

In one of my few classes in January before getting sick, a teacher had us select an intention for that class. I decided I would set as my intention for training for the year to stop looking down at what my feet and hands were doing, or up as visual processors tend to do as we try to access information (like what the heck is the next step in this form?), but rather forward at my "opponent," whether that was a training partner or an imagined foe.

And what is in front of me, the foe that needs to be faced squarely, are those life habits, all that stuff, that keeps me trapped and prevents me from living a truly intentional and abundant life. Another significant card in that reading was the 8 of Swords in the Self Concept position, indicating a mental change, representing fighting one's way out of a stuck place, gaining perspective on an obstacle holding one back from success.

I'm not willing to keep surrendering to a lack of organization and financial planning. I went from being terrified of sparring to sort of enjoying the challenge of it and feeling intense pride at facing my fears and just getting better at it. I want to likewise overcome my ignorance and anxiety in matters of money and organization.

It's time for me to go beyond babysteps here. To begin, I plan to devote the time I was spending in kung fu class to sorting through the boxes and piles of stuff clogging up my home, and eventually getting to work on the storage units that are costing me money every month!

I'll be developing new skills and building new muscles and setting new routines. And I want to guard against all ideas and attitudes that might tend to sap me of strength or sabotage my efforts. Just because my mother was a pack rat does not mean I am doomed to follow in her footsteps! I will get better at decluttering, just as I got better at sparring.

I'm facing forward and looking my opponent in the eye. It's time to relaunch my Conquer Clutter Campaign!