Amanda's Musings

(Originally published 21 February 2021)   I have struggled with clutter and organization for decades. I know there is a strong link to the childhood abuse, where I had no control over my environment. I'm learning how trauma affects brain function, which can make the process especially challenging. This is currently a primary focus of my work with a wonderful new therapist, and this document grew out of our discussions. I do a lot of internal parts work, so "we" refers to my parts collectively. Bossy happens to be one of my strongly opinionated parts. I created this document and read it before each sorting session. Pre-sorting Pep Talk Bossy’s plea (paraphrased from 2/11/21 journal entry): We’ll never create the space and environment we want and deserve if we don’t put in consistent effort. We don’t have to be perfect and we don’t have to push ourselves, but it won’t ever get done if WE don’t do it ! Please. I want this for all of us. We deserve space to breathe an...

(Originally published 6 March 2017)  I feel my heart overflowing: I'm content. I don't feel dissatisfied, like I need things to be different from how they are. I want to change some things, and I'm working on those positive changes, and that's a good thing. But I'm not in a terrible hurry. I'm taking small steps and having fun along the way. And that feels good and right. I love the balance and sense of enough. [Journal entry 2/26/17]

(Originally published 1 January 2017)   Hopefully you've figured out on your own, or accepted what they keep telling us here on Spark People, that starting the New Year with a big honking laundry list of resolutions about how you're suddenly going to be perfect is a sure-fire plan to fail. We can all make positive changes in our lives as long as we do it with focus, compassion, creativity, balance, and humor. (You were expecting me to advise you to be realistic, right? That can be helpful — as opposed to the fantasy of "I'm going to change these 10 things all at the same time and I'm going to do everything perfectly right now!" But to me admonitions to "be realistic" can carry a sense of limitation or lack, like if I was just good enough or motivated or something else enough, I could take the accelerated road to success, but because of something lacking in me, I'll have to be satisfied with the watered-down, easier, it'll take me so much l...

  (Originally published 17 March 2013 ) Last night I shared a dear Spark Friend's posting in my comments on another Spark Friend's blog. ROSALIEESTHER's words had affected me deeply when she posted them on our Babysteps Brigade team on 2/28, and I recalled that I wanted to share them with others in a blog. So here I am, and these are her words: "I've been thinking a lot lately about the baby part of baby steps. Seems to me that we need to learn to embrace each step we make just as we would a baby's step. Wouldn't we make much of a baby learning to walk? Wouldn't we be gentle and full of admiration even if that baby faltered and fell? Let's see ourselves with kind and loving eyes. Let's allow ourselves to take the time it takes to make progress. In the grand scheme of things we are all babies." I shared her post on my other 2 main teams, and several people responded favorably to the themes of being gentle with ourselves and celebrating...