Amanda's Musings

(Originally published 17 August 2020 )   I just figured out on last Thursday that I’m suffering from burnout. After 5 months of telecommuting, I had to go into the office to swap out laptops, and was able to read flyers for the few remaining employees in the building. Some of these had tips for self-care, including one on Burnout. After reading the symptoms, I realized I fit many of the descriptors. I’ve emailed the 2 supervisors responsible for my work group, who have both been given other duties, and so have not been checking in with us regularly. It doesn’t help that I’ve had all sorts of tech issues that have required hours of IT consultation and fixes on the new computer, including a crash this morning. Or that we’ve had people out. One is on temporary assignment elsewhere, and 3 called out today, leaving only 4 of us. It was so stressful, I was on the verge of tears several times this afternoon. So when the day finally ended, I wondered “What can I do to feel better when I’...

(Originally published 1 April 20 20 )   From 3/1/20 to 4/1/20: I stay inside most of the time, I’ve been telecommuting for 3 weeks now, so it’s not surprising that my weight’s gone up 3 pounds. As a Spark Friend quoted from her local news: “Manatees eat for an average of 8 hours per day. Coronavirus has turned us all into manatees.” Still, I’m doing pretty well. I’m exercising during my breaks; I’ve made a list of short workouts that will fit into a 15-minute break. And now that we have full coverage in the call center, & coworkers with medical issues don’t need to take as many sick days since they can answer the phone from home, I’m finding time in between calls to do little tasks at home as well as catching up with work activities. So I’m feeling productive, which is very nice. Some days I’ll take a walk outside, just around the neighborhood—but since my area is hilly, it’s not just strolling. I’m mostly relying on YouTube videos to stay active, and have discovered new w...

(Originally published 27 March 20 20 )   It's a challenging time when so much is happening and disrupting our lives that is out of our control. It's easy to get caught up in fear and frustration over everything we can't do. Just like with losing weight or organizing, focusing on what we want and on the choices we can make is more motivating than always paying attention to the things we don't like or can't have or do. I may not be able to go to all the places I used to go, but I can go for a walk in the fresh air and wave at people I pass. My favorite restaurants may not be open, but I can plan healthy meals and try new recipes. I may not be able to go to the gym (or the Activity Room at my job, since we are telecommuting now), but I've been finding lots of new free exercise videos, including plenty I can do during my 15-minute breaks from my call center job. Even though I can't visit friends or my sister, I can reach out by phone, email, a card, or a...

(Originally published 26 February 2020)  After writing this in my journal this morning, I thought, 'Hey, that's sort of profound' and so decided to share it with y'all: "We can't just focus on, or go straight to, what we wish we had done better. It's important to give ourselves credit for our babysteps and positive choices first. We don't have to ignore or cover up poor choices or tasks left undone, but there's no need to beat ourselves up or get bummed out. We'll stay more engaged and encouraged, enthusiastic and energized by acknowledging our progress first." It worked for me. By writing down several things I accomplished the previous day, I felt better and stronger, and eager to make more progress that night after getting home from work. Maybe this will resonate with some of you as well. Blessed Be, Amanda            

  (Originally published 7 March 2017 )   I took a moment to look out the balcony door and admire the rising sun. There is such beauty and hope in each new dawn. My heart expands and overflows with possibilities, love, joy, and hope, sweeping aside the discontent and grumbling over not doing more and over today's weight gain. I just had to jump up again and allow myself to bask in the brilliance of the Sun when she burst through the clouds to shine her light and glory on us all. She reminds me I am connected to the cosmos. I am filled with light, and it is up to me to let my light shine forth — taking positive steps, experiencing and sharing pleasure, acknowledging progress, strengthening resolve and determination to create and improve and expand. We can re-dedicate ourselves* to developing new routines and structures — to checking in after work, to tracking our movement and actions and setting intentions. [Journal entry 2/28 * Note, I employ first person plural to ref...

(Originally published 1 January 2017)   Hopefully you've figured out on your own, or accepted what they keep telling us here on Spark People, that starting the New Year with a big honking laundry list of resolutions about how you're suddenly going to be perfect is a sure-fire plan to fail. We can all make positive changes in our lives as long as we do it with focus, compassion, creativity, balance, and humor. (You were expecting me to advise you to be realistic, right? That can be helpful — as opposed to the fantasy of "I'm going to change these 10 things all at the same time and I'm going to do everything perfectly right now!" But to me admonitions to "be realistic" can carry a sense of limitation or lack, like if I was just good enough or motivated or something else enough, I could take the accelerated road to success, but because of something lacking in me, I'll have to be satisfied with the watered-down, easier, it'll take me so much l...

(Originally published 6 November 2016)  Some of you know I have a very unsatisfactory state job, which I've been trying to leave for several years — 51 state, county, college, and city job applications submitted and counting. We're overworked and underpaid, and plagued with poor management. It's not all bad, but there's sadly a great deal of negativity to deal with. So what's a body to do? I can't pretend that everything's fine. I may use affirmations, and do my best to focus on the positive, but I won't lie to myself about what's true. So when the annual statewide survey went online, I told them truthfully just how bad the working environment and organizational culture are. And when they asked for my opinion in essay  format,  rather than multiple choice — oh, yeah! I totally let them have it. Unfortunately, when forced to look hard at all the things that are wrong, and to articulate the issues (which is one of my strengths), it tends to leave me ...

(Originally published 20 February 2016)  "Maybe you can't rewrite history, but it's not too late to change the future if you set your mind to it." I shared this quote from a magical mystery, Ghost of a Potion by Heather Blake, in my status this morning. I find this profoundly wise. Whether we are regretting a poor choice (in eating, spending, not putting things away) or recalling a major trauma we've experienced, we cannot change what has already occurred. We can, however, change our internal dialog, and the choices we make next. (That's how I interpret "changing the future by setting your mind to it.") I find I'm much happier when I choose not to grind on misfortune, mistreatment by another, or mistakes I've made. It can be helpful to recognize how certain experiences have shaped our thinking and reactions, or to see our patterns and the consequences of our choices. But focusing on negative results isn't very motivating or empowering...

(Originally published 26 August 2015)  Here is another of my morning rituals, that I perform to put myself in a positive mood. As I mentioned in my last blog, "I devised [them] to help combat the emotional pain and sometime despair that plagued me all too often when I contemplated the poor management, negligence and dissatisfaction I experience at work." I actually started practicing this one first, but now I start with Breathing In the Day, followed by Singing In the Morning. It's rather like a Gratitude Journal, simply writing down positives to focus on from the previous day. I include blessings and acts kindness from others, but what I list most often are things I've done that I'm proud of, and progress I made. Acknowledging my accomplishments and babysteps helps me stay motivated and encouraged, especially when there is a lot of stress and numerous obstacles to deal with. I know many people like to reflect on their day at night, recalling their blessings a...

(Originally published 1 August 2015) This is one of my morning rituals, that I perform to put myself in a positive mood. I devised it to help combat the emotional pain and sometime despair that plagued me all too often when I contemplated the poor management, negligence, and dissatisfaction I experience at work. After more than a year and a half of active looking, I still have not secured the right position, but I rarely feel demoralized and hopeless these days, and this has been one of the tools to help me. After brewing my morning coffee, I get out my journal, and using different colors on alternating lines (this isn't essential, I just like the visual impact), I write the words "Breathe in ____. Breathe in _____." Sometimes I will pair alliterative attributes such as Strength and Success, Flexibility and Focus, Purpose and Passion. Other times I will pair a longer word and a shorter one so as to fit them on a single line, so that "Breathe in" appears at the...