Changing the future over regretting the past

(Originally published 20 February 2016) 

"Maybe you can't rewrite history, but it's not too late to change the future if you set your mind to it." I shared this quote from a magical mystery, Ghost of a Potion by Heather Blake, in my status this morning.

I find this profoundly wise. Whether we are regretting a poor choice (in eating, spending, not putting things away) or recalling a major trauma we've experienced, we cannot change what has already occurred. We can, however, change our internal dialog, and the choices we make next. (That's how I interpret "changing the future by setting your mind to it.")

I find I'm much happier when I choose not to grind on misfortune, mistreatment by another, or mistakes I've made. It can be helpful to recognize how certain experiences have shaped our thinking and reactions, or to see our patterns and the consequences of our choices. But focusing on negative results isn't very motivating or empowering--at least not for me.

I'm trying to retrain myself to ask, "What can I do differently?" "How can I make a better choice?" "Are there planning or preparation steps I can take to make it easier to take the positive steps that will help me reach my goals?"

I know it's extremely counter-productive to beat myself up, and I try not to do it, although I admit I can get very frustrated and impatient when my progress is a lot slower than I want it to be. But I keep returning to this ditty I composed, "I decide what kind of day it will be: I can choose joy or misery." And why would I ever want to choose anything but joy?

So I'm striving to remember to either enjoy this moment or be planning for how to improve it in order to increase enjoyment in the future.           

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