Amanda's Musings

(Originally published 29 February 2020)  I knew it was coming up, but I actually missed my own 10-year sobriety anniversary! It got eclipsed by official notification of my career position—ending a 14-month temporary assignment (which had been extended 3 months beyond the original 12) & the increasingly anxious 7-month job hunt for a more secure placement. But I know this is a major milestone, and I want to acknowledge it. Getting and staying sober was also the beginning of my journey away from obesity to greater wellness. It’s not that I was completely unhealthy before. I was into personal growth and working on my PTS issues, I ate lots of vegetable, I exercised some and was proud of my flexibility. Even at my heaviest (215 pounds on a 5’3” frame), I could bend at the waist and place my hands flat on the floor. I had tried to get sober with AA back in California, but had several unfortunate experiences that, as an incest survivor, made me feel unsafe in meetings and with sp...

(Originally published 30 May 2015)  A teammate asked for any advice to prepare her for her first mammogram, and this is what I shared: I didn't have a mammogram until after I turned 50, and out of the 4 I've had, 2 went well and 2 triggered PTSD episodes. Things I've found that can help: Schedule extra time, so you aren't rushed. If you can control the pressure knob/dial/pedal, it's easier to take your time and be with the discomfort when someone else isn't "doing it to you." K eep breathing! Don't be afraid to halt the procedure if you're getting freaked, or if your tech is causing problems. I wish I had been stronger on this last time. Bring a champion to help you stay present, watch your reactions, and intercede if necessary. My sister is going to do this for me next time, as she did so well with my dental procedures. Warn them ahead of your issues (with the large numbers of abuse survivors, they should be sensitive to all this already!) a...

(Originally published 17 August 2013)  Hard to believe it’s been 4 months since I last blogged. I’ve never been an daily blogger—I wait until I have something inspiring or important to share. But I admit I’ve also gotten into that mindset that my blogs should be positive or hopeful—and that’s not really how I’ve been feeling. Life wasn’t bad. I had lost those 75 pounds over 2-plus years, I was maintaining a healthy weight and trying to focus on applying what worked with shedding the pounds with shedding that other kind of weight—the clutter in my home that has plagued me for years. Sure I’d get stressed at work, and sometimes my PTSD would get triggered, but not big time: I wasn’t miserable. Then came the pinched nerve. My arm and hand kept buzzing uncomfortably at odd times during the day, sometimes going into a dull but debilitating aching. I didn’t know what was causing it. It was getting worse, so I went to the doctor who recommended physical therapy and seeing a chiropract...

(Originally published 15 July 2012)  We keep looking for that one little thing we can do to keep us safe. We latch onto each new study finding that if we take this one pill or eat this certain breakfast food or get this amount of exercise, we'll stay healthy and all our problems will disappear. Sorry, but it doesn't work that way. Actually, it may be your fearful, angry, ashamed, and unloving thoughts and emotions that have more to do with longevity than how much fiber or how few calories you eat, or the frequency and intensity of your workouts. Consider the Helsinki study which Deepak Chopra mentions in Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul (pp 83-84): A group of middle-aged Finnish men at high risk for heart attack were placed in two groups. The control group got no special attention; they saw their doctor a few times a year and got the same general advice about eating better, exercising more, losing weight, and not smoking. The second group was followed carefully,...

(Originally published 1 July 2012 )   I just finished Deepak Chopra's Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul . * It may be the best self-help book I have ever read; it is certainly one of the most profound, powerful, and practical. It is so good that as soon as I finished the final page, I turned back to the first in order to begin again. This time I plan to spend more time delving into the exercises, recording and journaling on the various tools and activities he suggests. The book opens on a very personal note. At the beginning of the Introduction: The Forgotten Miracle, he recounts his first encounter with a cadaver in medical school: "I took my scalpel and cut a fine line down the skin over the breastbone. The mystery of the human body was about to reveal itself. At that moment I also stripped the body of its sacred nature. I crossed a line that is nearly impossible to recross ever again." The first section of the book is Reinventing Your Body. Here Chopra ...

(Originally published 10 June 2012)  My team huddles “You have time for what matters most.” and today's status “BLESSEDBEING just finished reading Chopra's RTB, RTS Breakthrough #5: Time Isn't Your Enemy. Awesome! Blog to come. (Teaser: Diet & exercise are NOT the main keys to anti-aging.)” gave a preview to this blog. Deepak Chopra wrote Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul in 2009. I'm still slogging through Quantum Healing at work, reading over my lunch hour; it was written in the 80's, more dry science, less humor and poetry. In contrast, I was reading the newer book on the elliptical machine at the club today, alternately laughing and crying. There is such power, such beauty, such simplicity to his message. This may be my favorite book of his so far. I had gotten a hint when I read The Essential Ageless Body, Timeless Mind (condensed from that popular work from 15 years ago) about the mistaken beliefs we have about time. I've started using an...

(Originally published 9 June 2012)  "Seen symbolically, all disorders are cases where the body becomes a stranger, an enemy, a failed ally, or a defeated victim. To prevent those metaphors from turning into reality, you need to offer reassurance to your body that you will care for it, that you will listen when it speaks." That's from Deepak Chopra's Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul (p. 130 in the large print version). It appears in the section on Breakthrough #4: You Can Improve Your Genes. In this book and others, Chopra demonstrates how the body has amazing abilities to correct and heal itself. But for this to happen, "you need to feel comfortable in your body. There has to be a basic connection that isn't blocked by guilt, shame, and discomfort." Your thoughts and feelings determine how your cells will function. If your thoughts are constantly unhappy--angry, frustrated, sad, judgemental — losing weight and getting healthy is going to ...

(Originally published 8 June 2012)  I'm not proposing a theory here, but noting some interesting anecdotal samples or possible evidence. I had been hanging out for weeks around 151 to 152, very close to my goal weight, but just maintaining. I was preparing for an introductory meeting at work about the Full Plate Diet. (I'm a new member of our office wellness committee, and had been asked to lead our first group.) I was a bit nervous, not sure if we would get enough interest to proceed. I put quite a bit of time and preparation into it, and the meeting went quite well. A small group attended, and almost each person signed up to participate in the 8 sessions. I was quite relieved afterward, and the following morning, my weight dropped down to 150.0 for the first time. Was there a connection? I remained at 150.0 for the next several days, over the weekend and on Monday. Then we had a mandatory training that day. The first part was fun and insightful, but the second part was ha...

(Originally published 3 June 2012)  "BLESSEDBEING is now officially at my original goal weight of 150 = 65 pounds lost! I've got my Amazon shopping cart standing by!" That was my status from this morning. I don't move my weight tracker the first time I touch on a new weight level. Once I've reached a new low weight (rounded to the pound) and maintained it for 3 days, then I consider it official. I probably didn't set a goal weight when I first joined Spark People in the summer of 2009; I probably did it in the fall of 2010 when I started my serious solo-Sparking (before I discovered the power of Spark teams). 150 seemed really far away from 215, where I began. 65 pounds, a 30% weight loss is significant. I went from a size 18 or 2X in Women's sizes to a size 12 or Large in Misses. (I've even bought one size 10 pair of pants!) I look better and feel better. My joints rarely hurt and I don't get as tired. Why am I not more excited about this? I...

(Originally published 10 May 2012)  Here's my huddle today: Pay attention to your successes! . . .which makes more sense when combined with today's status quote: "Whatever you put your attention on will grow stronger in your life. Whatever you take your attention away from will wither, disintegrate, & disappear." (Chopra) What do you want to increase in life? If we would all stop obsessing over the things we don't like in our lives — every molecule of fat in our bodies, every ounce gained, every out-of-place item in our homes, every rude driver (one of my peeves), every mistake made by us or the people around us — they just might show up less in our lives, or at least would cause us less misery. The quote is from Deepak Chopra's The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, a very slim volume containing some profound wisdom. It comes from the discussion of the law of intention and desire. Our thinking can so easily get in the way of accomplishing our goals an...

(Originally published 2 October 2011)  I lost my sweet Kenny recently. He was the joy of my heart for 16 years, from the time I could hold him in one hand. I loved being a kitty mommy for the first time, and he was sweet-tempered and affectionate. My mom passed away 6 months before Kenny came into my life, so she never knew her grandcat. I like to think of them getting to know each other as they watch over me. I only regret my mom, who lived alone, never had such a companion to share those last lonely years. During our snuggle sessions, I would often notice that expansive feeling in my heart, and I would often thank him and thank the Goddess for the blessing of having him in my life. Had my mom likewise enjoyed daily doses of affection and joy, she could have been much happier, and may have lived longer. I like to exercise and enjoy a pretty healthy diet. And I believe being Kenny's mommy has been good for my physical and emotional health as well. I'm not on a timeline to...