Sharing the struggles & hard times, too

(Originally published 17 August 2013) 

Hard to believe it’s been 4 months since I last blogged. I’ve never been an daily blogger—I wait until I have something inspiring or important to share. But I admit I’ve also gotten into that mindset that my blogs should be positive or hopeful—and that’s not really how I’ve been feeling.

Life wasn’t bad. I had lost those 75 pounds over 2-plus years, I was maintaining a healthy weight and trying to focus on applying what worked with shedding the pounds with shedding that other kind of weight—the clutter in my home that has plagued me for years. Sure I’d get stressed at work, and sometimes my PTSD would get triggered, but not big time: I wasn’t miserable.

Then came the pinched nerve. My arm and hand kept buzzing uncomfortably at odd times during the day, sometimes going into a dull but debilitating aching. I didn’t know what was causing it. It was getting worse, so I went to the doctor who recommended physical therapy and seeing a chiropractor.

On the physical therapist’s recommendation, I stopped using upper body weights—I actually gave up on any resistance work for a while, and a few pounds crept back on. I had never tried chiropractic, but found the only female practitioner in my area was a great match. And from the first, when she confirmed the PT’s assessment that issues with both my shoulder and neck were contributing to the problem, emotional stuff started coming up, especially as she worked on my neck.

I got the message that it was time to work deeply on the emotional stuff again. I even met & chatted with a therapist who works out of the chiropractor’s office—who happens to be in my health plan network, and was familiar with how to navigate the whole HMO referral process. She’s been wonderful, and we’ve had some intense and healing sessions, with lots of tears, and the discovery of many different aspects of myself that need tending, yet which also possess strengths and energies that make me more whole.

She has also mentioned some great resources, especially tapping, or EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). My therapist back in California, with whom I worked for several years on the incest issues, had mentioned it and given me some handouts. I played with it a little back then, but not consistently. This time around I’ve checked out some books from the library which I’ll probably pick up on Amazon: The EFT Manual by Gary Craig, and The Tapping Solution by Nick Ortner.

I’m excited and encouraged, though sometimes exhausted, by the release of intense emotions around painful memories and issues. I’m hoping for some positive changes on the physical plane to accompany the shifting energies inside. Since some of this may resonate with others, I’ll try to share more of the process and lessons along the way.

Blessed Be, Amanda