Amanda's Musings

I am absolutely appalled at the anti-abortion laws being written that refuse to make exceptions in the case of rape or incest. The monsters who write and support such legislation make it clear that they care nothing about the trauma these victims have already endured. In fact they intend to heap on extra burdens, no matter how horribly these poor women and girls may suffer physically and mentally, or how dangerously that would impact their ability to raise or nurture a baby conceived in violence and horror. It is callous and cruel to mandate that trauma victims carry a fetus sired by their attacker to term. The physical, emotional, and financial toll of an unplanned and unwanted pregnancy should not be forced on anyone, especially when it is a constant reminder of an excruciatingly painful experience. And I have not heard that these heinous laws include funding for pregnant women to receive the prenatal care that might help them deliver “adoptable” babies. And what of the babies who ar...

(Originally published 14 January 2021 )   [In sorting through old papers, I found a copy of a letter I wrote in 2001 to my aunts and cousins. I don’t know if any of them took action based on my urging. (My relatives are fundamentalist Christians, which is why I use more religious language than usual.) When I read the letter to my new therapist last week, we both teared up and she applauded my bravery in sharing it. I realized too many other families have similar histories, so am choosing to share it here, in hopes that it may encourage others to seek help for themselves or people they care about.] I have considered writing such a letter for more than a year. Having very recently obtained information supporting my earlier suspicions, I know it is my responsibility to speak to you and to help break the cycle of silence—and violence—which has plagued our family for generations. I am an incest survivor. My mother admitted to me once that she had been fondled by her father. I know ...

(Originally published 30 May 2015)  A teammate asked for any advice to prepare her for her first mammogram, and this is what I shared: I didn't have a mammogram until after I turned 50, and out of the 4 I've had, 2 went well and 2 triggered PTSD episodes. Things I've found that can help: Schedule extra time, so you aren't rushed. If you can control the pressure knob/dial/pedal, it's easier to take your time and be with the discomfort when someone else isn't "doing it to you." K eep breathing! Don't be afraid to halt the procedure if you're getting freaked, or if your tech is causing problems. I wish I had been stronger on this last time. Bring a champion to help you stay present, watch your reactions, and intercede if necessary. My sister is going to do this for me next time, as she did so well with my dental procedures. Warn them ahead of your issues (with the large numbers of abuse survivors, they should be sensitive to all this already!) a...