Amanda's Musings

(Originally published 27 February 2021)  That's the bold subtitle of Tracy McCubbin's 2019 organizing book Making Space, Clutter Free . Big thanks to my sister for finding and sharing it. I just picked it up from the library this morning, and loved what she has to say in the introductory chapter "What's Under the Clutter? A New Approach." She says she wants to liberate us from the shame and emotional weight of our clutter. "I want your home to be a place that you enjoy being in, that helps you quickly and efficiently get out into the world, and that you can share with others as often as you feel like. If your home isn't all three things — restful, helpful, and shareable — then on some level, your home is taking energy from you instead of supporting you to live your best life." Wow, if page 5 is that profound, I can't wait to dive in to better understanding the 7 emotional clutter blocks she identifies, and how to address them. She breaks her ...

(Originally published 1 December 2020 )  I am *really* embracing the concept and goal of doing OK, as opposed to trying (and failing) to do “my best” (because with my brain, I can always imagine a way to improve or do better). Recently I had wanted to go for a walk, but saw it was getting later than I had wanted to start, with the prettiest light fading. But I reminded myself it could be an OK walk—it didn’t have to be a great one. And it turned out so much better than I had hoped for: I got to watch a full moon rising and see some lovely early Christmas lights—delightful sights that filled my heart. That encouraged me to reach out to my sister to sound out the notion of settling for “OK holidays.” We often spend Christmas or New Year’s together, and have certain traditions we enjoy, but can be stressful to try and make happen. With this year in particular it’s hard to say what will be happening in the next weeks. Per the governor’s request and example, we spent Thanksgiving in o...

(Originally published 27 March 20 20 )   It's a challenging time when so much is happening and disrupting our lives that is out of our control. It's easy to get caught up in fear and frustration over everything we can't do. Just like with losing weight or organizing, focusing on what we want and on the choices we can make is more motivating than always paying attention to the things we don't like or can't have or do. I may not be able to go to all the places I used to go, but I can go for a walk in the fresh air and wave at people I pass. My favorite restaurants may not be open, but I can plan healthy meals and try new recipes. I may not be able to go to the gym (or the Activity Room at my job, since we are telecommuting now), but I've been finding lots of new free exercise videos, including plenty I can do during my 15-minute breaks from my call center job. Even though I can't visit friends or my sister, I can reach out by phone, email, a card, or a...

(Originally published 26 February 2020)  After writing this in my journal this morning, I thought, 'Hey, that's sort of profound' and so decided to share it with y'all: "We can't just focus on, or go straight to, what we wish we had done better. It's important to give ourselves credit for our babysteps and positive choices first. We don't have to ignore or cover up poor choices or tasks left undone, but there's no need to beat ourselves up or get bummed out. We'll stay more engaged and encouraged, enthusiastic and energized by acknowledging our progress first." It worked for me. By writing down several things I accomplished the previous day, I felt better and stronger, and eager to make more progress that night after getting home from work. Maybe this will resonate with some of you as well. Blessed Be, Amanda            

(Originally published 6 November 2016)  Some of you know I have a very unsatisfactory state job, which I've been trying to leave for several years — 51 state, county, college, and city job applications submitted and counting. We're overworked and underpaid, and plagued with poor management. It's not all bad, but there's sadly a great deal of negativity to deal with. So what's a body to do? I can't pretend that everything's fine. I may use affirmations, and do my best to focus on the positive, but I won't lie to myself about what's true. So when the annual statewide survey went online, I told them truthfully just how bad the working environment and organizational culture are. And when they asked for my opinion in essay  format,  rather than multiple choice — oh, yeah! I totally let them have it. Unfortunately, when forced to look hard at all the things that are wrong, and to articulate the issues (which is one of my strengths), it tends to leave me ...

(Originally published 20 February 2016)  "Maybe you can't rewrite history, but it's not too late to change the future if you set your mind to it." I shared this quote from a magical mystery, Ghost of a Potion by Heather Blake, in my status this morning. I find this profoundly wise. Whether we are regretting a poor choice (in eating, spending, not putting things away) or recalling a major trauma we've experienced, we cannot change what has already occurred. We can, however, change our internal dialog, and the choices we make next. (That's how I interpret "changing the future by setting your mind to it.") I find I'm much happier when I choose not to grind on misfortune, mistreatment by another, or mistakes I've made. It can be helpful to recognize how certain experiences have shaped our thinking and reactions, or to see our patterns and the consequences of our choices. But focusing on negative results isn't very motivating or empowering...

(Originally published 7 January 2014)  This was my most recent status: “Anger over a situation at work is motivating me to make plans to address my own situation as well as the larger issues. It's unsettling, but empowering. Trying NOT to stay stuck in anger or hurt.” The latter has been hard. As I was trying to do an Oprah/Chopra meditation on CD this morning, I started weeping, then began repeating the EFT tapping routine just to bring some emotional relief. I was journaling over my morning coffee (fully recognizing that my PTS has been triggered over issues about being taken advantage of at work) when I wrote this: "I want to keep remembering and affirming that I deserve better. I deserve fair pay and treatment at work. I deserve an abundant salary for the value of my work. I deserve to be treated with respect and care. I deserve to be free of a toxic, dysfunctional environment." Especially with that last statement, something shifted. I went on to journal "T...

(Originally published 3 December 2013)  According to Marshall Rosenberg, author of Nonviolent Communication, it has "enormous power to create shame and guilt" yet is so ingrained and commonly used, many of us can't imagine living without it. It is the word "should." It is strongly judgmental, and suggests the person not doing what they "should" is somehow morally defective or bad — or lazy or stupid, or somehow branded by one or more negative characteristics. It also implies a lack of choice which leads to resistance, for humans crave freedom and choice, and abhor tyranny "even when it's internal tyranny in the form of a "should." Though most of the book focuses on skills and attitudes that assist you in communicating more harmoniously and effectively with others, I was most struck by Chapter 9: Connecting Compassionately with Ourselves. I especially liked the point he makes on p. 132: "Our challenge then, when we are doing ...

(Originally published 26 January 2013)  How odd that getting really sick for the first time in years would have such a silver lining. The tarot reading I did (with my beloved MotherPeace deck) on why I got sick and how to heal was amazingly spot on — and heralded in that Outcome card a surprising new direction for me. Judgement, card XX of the Major Arcana: the MotherPeace image shows a purple ankh on a lavender background, pouring a rainbow from Her center to cover the Earth in healing and beauty. Along with the Star card ("Opening to the Goddess"), it is my favorite MotherPeace image. According to Vicki Nobel (in MOTHERPEACE: A Way to the Goddess through Myth, Art, and Tarot), drawing the Judgement card in a reading indicates an important decision has already been made by your Higher Self. And so it has been. Somehow, yesterday it came to me: the time has come to put aside my kung fu training and apply those lessons, that energy and commitment to myself and my growth in...

(Originally published 23 November 2012 ) The current 21-Day Meditation Challenge from the Chopra Center (on Creating Abundance) has been wonderful. My favorite so far, in the discussion before the 10-minute meditation session, was Day 10: Abundance and the Law of Karma. Deepak Chopra (who leads all the sessions in this series) introduced the concept of stewardship — responsibly caring for what we value, whether the well-being of a child, the health of our physical body, the resources of our planet. I agree that it's important to ask ourselves if we are being good stewards of our wonderous bodies, and of the minds and spirits contained therein. We need to make choices of all kinds more consciously — whether to stay up late again, blow off exercising because we're tired, buy the economy-size package of that red-light food because it's on sale, not take the time to make our lunch even though we'll be forced to eat fast food or vending machine fare again. The same goes ...

(Originally published 29 October 2012 as  What we do to ourselves )   I was taking a break and journaling after a stint of decluttering and organizing work. As soon as I wrote it, this sentence jumped off the page at me: "I was feeling frantic and not far from tears earlier, thinking 'I can't do this anymore!' and then wondering why and how I keep doing this to myself." The first "do this" (as in I can't anymore) was the sorting, the deciding is it trash? do I keep it? where should it go? Occasionally the answer is obvious and the choice easy to make. But more often, I'm not sure; a whole host of questions and considerations and options come up, and I don't know what's the best thing to do, and I often end up putting it in an undecided category and postponing the determination. The second "do this" (as in why do I keep doing this to myself?) was my wail of despair not unlike the blogs I sometimes read by Sparkers disgusted a...

(Originally published 10 June 2012)  My team huddles “You have time for what matters most.” and today's status “BLESSEDBEING just finished reading Chopra's RTB, RTS Breakthrough #5: Time Isn't Your Enemy. Awesome! Blog to come. (Teaser: Diet & exercise are NOT the main keys to anti-aging.)” gave a preview to this blog. Deepak Chopra wrote Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul in 2009. I'm still slogging through Quantum Healing at work, reading over my lunch hour; it was written in the 80's, more dry science, less humor and poetry. In contrast, I was reading the newer book on the elliptical machine at the club today, alternately laughing and crying. There is such power, such beauty, such simplicity to his message. This may be my favorite book of his so far. I had gotten a hint when I read The Essential Ageless Body, Timeless Mind (condensed from that popular work from 15 years ago) about the mistaken beliefs we have about time. I've started using an...

(Originally published 19 April 2012)  I had an epiphany of sorts in the shower this morning, which is where they often seem to come to me, and I hope I can recall those thoughts that flowed through my consciousness some eleven hours ago. I think I had been repeating some of the affirmations I've developed to encourage a shift in my attitudes around organizing and decluttering: "I easily let go of what I no longer need; I joyfully release all that does not serve me." (I like that this can apply to excess weight, limiting beliefs, judgements, toxic relationships, not just clutter.) "I easily choose a good place for what I own; I enjoy putting things in a good home." I was contemplating the decisions that have to be made — do I keep it? where should it go? how often does it get used? where do I use it? is it easy to access? should it be stored? where? in what? — in decluttering, and how overwhelming answering all those questions can be. In trying to reframe h...