Choosing Happiness as an Act of Rebellion

(Originally published 6 November 2016) 

Some of you know I have a very unsatisfactory state job, which I've been trying to leave for several years—51 state, county, college, and city job applications submitted and counting. We're overworked and underpaid, and plagued with poor management. It's not all bad, but there's sadly a great deal of negativity to deal with. So what's a body to do?


I can't pretend that everything's fine. I may use affirmations, and do my best to focus on the positive, but I won't lie to myself about what's true. So when the annual statewide survey went online, I told them truthfully just how bad the working environment and organizational culture are. And when they asked for my opinion in essay format, rather than multiple choice—oh, yeah! I totally let them have it. Unfortunately, when forced to look hard at all the things that are wrong, and to articulate the issues (which is one of my strengths), it tends to leave me depressed, and it gets harder to accept all the mismanagement, neglect, unfair practices, and the occasional verbal or professional attack.


But I don't want to get stuck in misery or feeling victimized. I'm trying to leave by applying for other jobs. And I do make suggestions to improve things (though often without much faith that it will make a difference). There are so many things I want to do for me. Yet my energy gets sapped, and then I start resenting the negative impact on my health and personal goals that the constant work stress causes.

So here are a few things I try to do (and I apologize that it took me so long to get here!):

1. Remind myself "I decide what kind of day it will be. I can choose joy or misery." Rhyming affirmations are the most effective, especially when I'm walking during my breaks, as I can say them in rhythm with my steps. This is often followed by "I choose joy! I choose joy!" And when things are really bad, I may pray "Please help me choose joy today."

2. Keep taking back my power and attention with declarations like "I will not let them steal my joy!" "Am I going to allow them to hijack my happiness and attention? #_@$ No!" "They don't deserve my time and attention. I need to focus on me—what I want and need, what I deserve and desire, not on their stupidity, cruelty, or negligence. What can I do or appreciate or plan in this moment that will benefit me?"

3. Choose Happiness as an Act of Rebellion (CHAR). Choose Happiness as an Act of Defiance (CHAD). Depending on your situation you may not feel pitted against others so much as identifying with an Act of Self-Preservation (CHASP), or Nurturing (CHAN), or Personal Power (CHAPP). And since I love the old Frank Capra movie Arsenic and Old Lace, I couldn't help coming up with the phrase Choosing Happiness as an Act of Rebellion Generates Energy (CHARGE). After all, it conjures that wonderful visual of Teddy blowing his bugle, brandishing his sword, and thundering up the stairs yelling "Charge!" And that always makes me smile.

I don't know if these thoughts may help anyone else out there, but I've been wanting to share them with the hopes they might prove beneficial to someone else out there in the Sparkverse. When things are getting you down, do what you can to CHARGE instead.

Blessed Be, Amanda 
           

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