Intentions and Habits

(Originally published 1 January 2017)  

Hopefully you've figured out on your own, or accepted what they keep telling us here on Spark People, that starting the New Year with a big honking laundry list of resolutions about how you're suddenly going to be perfect is a sure-fire plan to fail. We can all make positive changes in our lives as long as we do it with focus, compassion, creativity, balance, and humor.

(You were expecting me to advise you to be realistic, right? That can be helpful—as opposed to the fantasy of "I'm going to change these 10 things all at the same time and I'm going to do everything perfectly right now!" But to me admonitions to "be realistic" can carry a sense of limitation or lack, like if I was just good enough or motivated or something else enough, I could take the accelerated road to success, but because of something lacking in me, I'll have to be satisfied with the watered-down, easier, it'll take me so much longer to get there, loser path.)

So first, let me say (as the founder of the Babysteps Brigade Spark team), that taking things slow is a totally valid approach to the goals that really matter to you. I babystepped my way to a 65 pound weight loss over more than 2 years, and I've maintained for longer than that. If you want to sustain positive changes long-term, you need to introduce changes gradually to see if the new habits are ones you really want to keep. Or as one Sparker said, "Never do anything to lose weight that you aren't willing to do for the rest of your life."

So what's the one thing you really want to work on this year? To see your feet when you look down? To walk up 2 flights of stairs without huffing and puffing? To reduce or eliminate your debt? To improve a relationship with your spouse, siblings, kids, parents, coworkers, even yourself? To overcome CHAOS—Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome? Pick the thing that will have the biggest impact on your life.

Of course you can cultivate more than one positive habit in the coming year. But I caution you against falling in the trap of trying to change everything at the same time, and spreading your efforts and energy too widely to see visible results anywhere. For me it's Getting Free of clutter and disorganization. It affects my relationships, finances, fitness activities, recreation, spiritual practices, and mood. So that's where I plan to put my main focus.

As far as habits go, the idea I suggested on my 3 main teams is to pick one new habit to cultivate each month. I chose a kitchen sweep for January. I get very frustrated with my pattern of recapturing and losing the same OOs (Oases of Order) over and over again. I'll have the stovetop clear and wiped down until one of my kitchen-sink cooking sessions leaves it with cutting board, plastic containers to wash or bags to recycle which attracts even more clutter over the next few days. So I plan to clean and clear multiple times a day, and do my best to reclaim & maintain OO status of my various trouble spots each night. In fact I hope to have more kitchen OOs by month's end.

Of course I'll be taking positive actions on other goals as well, but that's the one new habit I'm going to concentrate on making a regular part of my daily routine. No idea what new habit I'll choose to cultivate for February, but I'll ponder that in 3 to 4 weeks.

I like making progress and experiencing success. It makes me feel good. I truly wish for each of you that you will discover the tools and routines that will help you experience these things as well. And if this blog helps any one of you, then WooHoo! That makes me happy, too.

Blessed Be, Amanda