Support Revisited: Thank you all!

 (Originally published on Spark People on 22 January 2011)

My own experience has proved the truth of the sentiments in my previous blog on support being a gift that blesses. Within a week of writing those words, I hit a low point brought on by largely by pain—increasingly frequent back pain and burns and blisters on my right foot (my favorite, and largest, tea mug split in half just when I poured in the boiling water, which then poured onto my foot, which luckily had a thick sock on it)—which had curtailed my exercise and led to a profound loss of energy and a discouraged, bleak frame of mind.

I recognized that I was sinking into a deep hole, and that I would need assistance to get out of it. Thank the Goddess that I was smart enough and strong enough to ask for help! I huddled with all my teams as usual yesterday morning, but instead of a personalized positive message which I normally like to contribute, I admitted that I was struggling and in need of encouragement. I changed my status on my Spark Page with a similar message. I had no idea what, if any, response I would get, though I hoped one or more of my Spark Friends might send a bolstering message. I was therefore disheartened when I logged on from work to update my nutrition and fitness tracking and did not see the icon indicating I had Spark Mail waiting for me.

I was therefore puzzled and a bit suspicious when I got online at home and saw I had 19 emails waiting for me, given that my average (before Spark Teams and Friends) was 2-4 and mostly advertisements. And while there were a few family messages and ads, the majority of new messages were notifications of comments and goodies, largely sent from Sparkers whom I had yet to meet. You may imagine my tears of gratitude and happiness when I saw my beautiful Goodies—hugs and rainbows and candles and hearts and hands cupping a spark of sunlight amidst the dark clouds—and read the messages of encouragement and support. I even startled the cat when I started to sob as I read the empowering words to the spell that a fellow pagan sent.

How can I repay the generosity and love I received when I so sorely needed it? Why by wrapping the warmth and power and beauty of their words and gifts around my heart and spirit to heal and strengthen me now and in future times of need. By rededicating myself to my program to become stronger, healthier, more whole and enlightened. By remembering that every effort, every new habit, every baby step is bringing me closer to creating and living the life I desire and deserve. And by paying it forward, greeting new team members, lending a shoulder or helping hand where it may be needed, sharing those virtual hugs and gifts to brighten someone's day.

I will lastly note that I am a survivor who has proved she is strong enough to find the teachers and resources I have needed to heal my inner wounds and to face the pain of my past without letting it limit who I can be and what I can achieve. Every step I have taken and continue to take is a step on the path out of that Darkness and into the Light. I've struggled and made progress on my own before. But never have I experienced such a rapid change in my “personal inner experience.” But then I've never had this many people “on my team” and rooting for me before. It's one of the unique and valuable qualities about Spark People and (to quote Scrooge's nephew Fred) “I say God bless it!”

Blessed Be, Amanda