No Shame Zone

(Originally published 21 July 2019)  

I'm struggling with frustration and aggravation over not accomplishing more. As I've dealt with new job applications (my wonderful county job is a temporary position), medical appointments, a dental emergency, and tardy car registration, my decluttering efforts have completely stalled. In fact just basic housework is hard to keep up with.

I refuse to deny my feelings: yes, the messiness does get to me, and I long to make changes to my environment—and maintain the gains, instead of this constant yoyo decluttering. But I catch myself when I start using judgemental language, even in my own head. In a recent journaling session when the thought "what is wrong with me?" arose, one of my parts quickly inserted "Let's keep this a no shame zone!" What a wonderful concept—which brought immediate emotional relief.

I like that idea of proclaiming my mind a No Shame Zone. Same goes for my home. I may want to make changes, but I don't need to shame myself into doing things differently. Personal choice and positive actions toward a much desired goal are more motivating than the idea "I should be better" or "I have to be different" or "I'm just not good enough." It can be tricky to keep a healthy balance between honestly acknowledging what my reality is in relation to where I want to be (which applies to my weight and career as well), and not letting negative judgements sap my energy and self-esteem. I'm hoping this simple notion helps.


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