Lessons of Life and Death

(Originally published 23 December 2011) 

It’s been a sad Solstice week at work. One of my coworkers, Gale, had scheduled several weeks off for an operation and recovery. The surgery went fine on Monday, but Tuesday, she went into cardiac arrest and was put on life support. Wednesday her husband called to say she was gone, because there was no brain activity. Her body wasn’t ready to let go, and Thursday there was no resolution. Her husband and sister told her it was OK to leave. We finally got word today (Friday) that she had passed.

When it became clear that the person she had been was no longer here, I prayed for the Goddess to take Her daughter home, and for Gale to let go and be with the angels. I didn’t want her family to have every Christmas Eve or Christmas Day to come be an anniversary of losing her.

For the last several days I’ve been struck by numerous things. I’m reminded of how precious life is, and that we never know how long we or the people around us have. Telling the ones we love how we feel is so important; we never know when the final opportunity has already passed.

Likewise, I recognize the importance of not putting things off: pursuing our dreams and beginning projects, repairing or nurturing relationships, enjoying our lives, expressing our creativity and passion, treating ourselves with the respect and tenderness we deserve.

What are the things I keep telling myself “I’ll get around to”? Why haven’t I begun them? If they really don’t matter, then stop worrying about them and let them go. Focus on the things that do matter. If there’s something I care about, that I truly want to do, have or accomplish, then I need to make a plan and schedule my first steps.

Losing a friend is always hard, even more so around the holidays. Yet there has been a correspondence between our sadness at the darkest time of year, and this final release as the light returns. And these lessons as the year closes and I reflect and look to the new are a precious gift.

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