Let me be your mirror, part one

(Originally published 23 March 2011)

A little background first. Two nights ago I read a Spark Friend's blog in which she spoke of not liking her looks, as in active dislike and non-acceptance. I proceeded to type several impassioned paragraphs, starting with how her words made me want to cry. But before I was done and could submit my reply, one of my fingers evidently hit the wrong key, and the entire message disappeared. I was much too tired to try to recreate it at the time, so left some abbreviated comments on her page and called it a night.

I am currently transcribing my Motherpeace tarot reading from Ostara, the Spring Equinox. (I've been using this multi-cultural, matriarchal round deck for years, but have not memorized the meaning of each card, so I use Vicki Noble's book to explore the significance of each card in relation to its placement in the spread.) Given that I turned the Shaman of Swords in the Near Future position, about which Vicki writes "Share your vision and thoughts, your hopes and dreams. The force of your ideas demands that you speak out." (p. 220, Motherpeace: A Way to the Goddess through Myth, Art, and Tarot by Vicki Noble, 1983, ISBN 0-06-066300-6), I have decided to post this blog. I just hope I can finish it in time to get to work!

My friend's comments about disliking her appearance reminded me of one of the Spark polls I took a while back asking about body image. The choices were basically did you like your body, having reached your goals; did you like your body even though you still had work to do; would you like your body once your goals were met, or would you not like your body no matter what you might achieve? It broke my heart that 20 % of the people who responded placed themselves in the last category—they could not imagine liking their body, no matter what fitness goals they met. This lack of self-acceptance and self-love are greatly debilitating and make it that much harder to accomplish the goals you set yourself.

I believe the biggest group in that survey said they would like themselves later—when they reached their goals. But even this is a trap! Why would you keep putting time and effort into chasing the dreams of someone who isn't already lovable and might never be so? One of my favorite songs from my Living Love workshops is by Jai Josefs, "I Love Myself the Way I Am." The first verse says "there's nothing I need to change; I'll always be the perfect me, there's nothing to rearrange." And the last verse (after singing of how "I love you just the way you are," and "I love the world the way it is") notes that "I love myself the way I am, but still I want to grow." It's fine to want to make positive changes, but do not withhold love and acceptance until some future day when you hope to be perfect! Totally love yourself—body and soul—right now, and know you are worthy of every bit of self-care and effort to improve your health and well-being of which you are capable.

And for all the Christians out there, and anyone else who believes in the Divine, whatever name you may ascribe Him or Her, you do know God loves you, right? So who are you to say God is wrong, and that you are not actually lovable after all? You are a precious child of God, the Goddess, the Universe, who deserves the utmost respect, the most tender care, and every success.

And since I've run out of time, I'll have to get to the rest of my message (like the whole mirror part!) later. So watch for part two!

Blessed Be, Amanda

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