Surviving is not enough!

(Originally published 13 February 2011)

This is the comment I wrote in response to a blog by a Spark Friend who has had a lot of stuff from her past coming up recently:

"I *so* want to wrap you up in a hug, dear sister. I hadn't realized you are another survivor. And you can take pride in that fact alone, for too many of us don't make it; too many of the victims end up crushed, numbed out, dead, or perpetuating the cycle. We escaped. We are moving beyond the tragedy and trauma of our past. What's more, we are choosing to create a safe and nurturing present and a joyous and abundant future.

I've always remembered a workshop discussion from Deborah Ham, one of my favorite presenters. She believes that people who have a nice, solid, uneventful upbringing and youth can lead good, positive, happy lives. She drew a mostly level, softly waved horizontal line across the board. But for those who endure great ugliness, horror and pain—and here she drew deep and jagged valleys and chasms below the first line--is the possibility of manifesting a corresponding beauty, rapture and grace—and here she sketched soaring and sweeping mountain peaks above the line to balance the countering depths.

It has long been one of my fervent hopes and desires that I might transcend the terrors and betrayals of my childhood and design more than a good life—a *great* life. I think I had lost touch with that dream, but Spark People and my wonderful Spark Friends have helped to reignite that spark. May our Sparks in turn blaze across the sky and light the way for others."

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Of the 3 survivors who commented on that blog, my favorite response was this:

A lot of folks hauling around excess pounds are survivors. And, a lot of the excess pounds are "swallowed anger." That's why it's so very important to lift each other up, cheer each other on, and to whisper, "I believe in you" when a friend struggles. As each one of us finds HOPE, and steps forward to reach new goals, we step away from the past; we step away from all the hurt, negativity, abuse, depression, anxiety, etc.

We are going to face challenges in the future. And, we are going to succeed! We WILL find ways to deal with future events, using the positive reinforcements we are learning now. The past is GONE (thank the powers that be!!!!) Create a new life and a new world! (And, yes, kids, I am a survivor, too. I don't have to hear the details to know what we're talking about!)